A Therapist’s Personal Perspective on Emotions and the Value of Good Practice

Hi Community.

It goes without saying that there is likely not one person who is not feeling some level of discomfort right now. Most (dare I say all?) people are feeling a certain amount of fear, pain, disappointment, sadness, and anger given the current pandemic. Most of us (again, dare I say all?) feel some level of these things all the time. Simply because we are human. But fewer of us have been taught that feeling these emotions is ok. Even fewer of us have been taught that feeling these emotions is wise. Even fewer of us have been taught to welcome them. Even fewer, how to stay steady through them and allow them to move only when the emotions are ready to move.

This is the work of most therapists- teaching their patients and clients, in one way or another, to learn the value of emotions. And, through this learning, to develop an acceptance and appreciation of not just emotions but of self. It’s incredible to acknowledge how few humans know how to do this. And it is important to recognize that so many of us struggle with depression and anxiety that might be tied to our own resistance to ourselves.

We are all in this together.

It is my bias that it is very difficult to be a good therapist unless that therapist has practiced, first-hand, what it means to make room for a full and complete self. Because therapists are also human (if you haven’t read Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb, it is a great read), we, too, feel fear, pain, disappointment, sadness, and anger. On a regular basis. We, therapists, are no less human than you, dear readers and clients. Which means that we, therapists, must also do our work. Go figure.

And, oh boy, this pandemic has created an opportunity for some work, hasn’t it?

If you are a human, you have found yourself grieving the many losses that you are facing. You have found yourself regressing in ways that surprise you. You have found yourself feeling “postpartum” again, even though some of your children have grown. You are facing human experiences of uncertainty, lack of control, incompetence, helplessness, and confusion, to name a few. Most of us have felt lost and alone and totally frozen, at one point or another.

In a recent Instagram video that I posted (@pwcboulder), in which I talked about the many ways that we can be taught to distrust our feelings and the many reasons that we have that all wrong, I make reference to some practices in self-acceptance and some incredible teachers who I have been following. I want to give you access to those teachers and those practices here. Of course these will not resonate for everyone- we each need to find our own way and we each need to find the teachers that call to us.