This morning I have something special for you. Someone else’s voice. A mom’s voice. A mom just like you who has struggled and worked and shifted and grown.

So, this December morning I offer you her words on relationships and pause and boundaries and truth.

Oh, and mental health ;-)

Enjoy.

I have always wanted to feel what peace felt like. Over the past decade I have worked on myself and have practiced many different techniques. I have come far, but some of what I’ve learned hadn’t fully attached to my being until recently.

This summer when I visited my family, the truest test as “they” say, I misplaced my tools and my power. With a little nudge from my therapist, I was reminded that I actually have the skills to set boundaries to prevent tension, stress and anxiety.

Fast forward just a few months later, I was set to spend the weekend with three of my dearest friends from the 90s. One evening, quite organically, topics like masks, Covid and LBGTQ came up. I felt my heartbeat elevate, it was a familiar feeling and I noticed a sense of anxiety, uncertainty, and self protection. I listened to their opinions which were different from my own. But instead of reacting in self protection or defensiveness, I paused.

I love these girls. They are my chosen family. We have a history together-the good ol’ days. At that moment when I paused, I went inward…I thought, “My response right now could change our friendships forever. I could ruin this weekend with my response. I could preach. But wait… they have their own beliefs just like I have my own.” And that’s when I calmly responded, “I completely disagree” and that was that. No fighting, no drama, no need to say anything else.

I will never forget that moment when I knowingly decided to pause and breathe instead of choosing to be reactive; and to me, that’s what peace feels like.

- Mom of 2 school aged children